Tag Archives: ambitions

A stick-note charm to remind myself never to not do that

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE YEAR WAITING IN VAIN.

So don’t wait! Get out there and grab a life, an adventure for yourself.

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE YEAR BEING FAT.

So stop being greedy, and seriously quit eating so much!

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE YEAR BEING SUCH A LAZY CRAP AT WORK.

So work harder and be smarter.

I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ILLITERATE, VULGAR GIRL WHO KNOWS NO JOY IN LIFE.

So read regularly!

I DON’T WANT TO BE FAITHLESS.

So pray often, and offer each day up to him!

I DON’T WANT TO BE JE-JE-JE-JADED.

So do good deeds everyday. Stop being a self-centered bitch!

I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU OUT COLD.

So spend more time with people I love, who loves me so. Get down to writing that letter which you never finished.

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE REGRETS.

Seize the day, live in the present moment.

 

More time with God, books, exercise, good healthy work that enriches my experience and makes me useful.

Less time being stuck in my comfort zone. Being lazy, eating non-stop, and feeling perfectly selfish and insular is not the way to live.

It is time to branch out, catch some sunlight, and grow.

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Things that make you Cry and Laugh at the same time

One thing is life for sure.

I hope your life is funny, sunny, bitter and sweet at the same time. That’s a life worth living.

But other than Life, there are moments littered in our every day that possess the same powerful effect, that could make you laugh and cry at the same time:

A Good Read. A book that speaks to you through its volumes of a past experience, a deep ache within. Or maybe one that offers a window to someone else’s life, a life so helpless and fragile, and yet you could not reach out to help in any way. You laugh because you can imagine its simple sweetness, and you cry for all the unfairness suffered.

A Decade-old Photo. When you see your smooth, oval face and the spotless laugh that knew no troubles; oh how you hate and love at the same time! Love for the moment you had, and hate that it is long over. Pleaseeee get over the bitterness and be grateful that you were enriched by such beautiful experiences! (:

A Cup of Coffee. You could be having it alone, or perhaps as a friendly brew with an old acquaintance; anyhow, caffeine is a great brain stimulant, and at times it could work just as well even for the tear ducts! Say if you were sharing a private joke (even just to yourself) and you burnt your tongue while chuckling quietly.

Very likely.

An Unwilling Lesson Learnt. That was what happened to me today. I was bringing my parents out for a day trip, our usual food-hunt, and I envisioned a relaxing stroll after a delicious meal.

To my own grievous fault (heh), it became a stressful roundabout walk, long hours of getting lost, and a set of tired and grumpy parents, carrying two pairs of feet that were more tired and grumpy than anything ):

It was really my fault. Not only did I walk too fast, I was way too impatient in finding my way around, indecisive about what to do, and too stubborn to take any advice.

You know I thought I changed! I used to be a panicky drowning-duck-in-the-pond type of person, and I really, really thought I shook that off already. I thought that I have learnt to carry myself in a confident, relaxed way. I was so wrong! I am still the worried little girl trying so hard to prove myself. 

After all these years, I am still the same in so many ways. What a downer.

I guess one improvement is that I don’t sulk out loud and pretend nothing’s wrong anymore. I shed a few quiet tears, and as I thought back about the frantic walking we did, I actually managed to laugh out. AT myself.

There you go, crying and laughing at the same time!

How could I be so wrong, thinking that I’m all good and grown now. How you surprise me, oh G.

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A strange feeling we have met before.

I was standing at the junction listlessly  fiddling my phone when I noticed a strange, broad hand waving in my face. Not thinking anything at all I looked up and saw – Dass! He was back from London!

I know it is very strange, but I couldn’t say how glad I was to see him. Of course I didn’t know that feeling inside me was gladness at first. I said a surprised “hey!” and started removing my ear piece, and rolling them together neatly. I looked at him and asked him where did he come from, while he asked me if I just got off the train at the same time. The best way to start a conversation was by asking mundane questions.

He had small, bleary eyes, and I could tell he needed sleep badly, or is it is old problem coming back again? I felt like his caretaker thinking about such everyday things! He replied that he just got off the bus, and that he was at the learning centre. I asked him when did he arrive in Singapore, he said on the First, and yes he brought his wife and daughter back home as well. I asked about his house in London, and his place in Khatib, if it was empty. A friend stays there now, he said.

The green man flashed, and we started crossing the road. I said he looked thinner, which pleased him and he asked skeptically if it was true. Ok not tremendously thinner like I envisioned when Patty said so, but yes slightly slimmer. (OK but he was actually much slimmer when he first joined, ha!) He said he took a nap on the bus, and was still trying to adjust to local time. I asked if he took a longer nap during the lesson. He said he was at the verge of giving up towards the end of the class, and that others who just came back from the US didn’t fare any better.

We were standing and talking like that for a while at the corner of the crossing, and I waited for his green man with him. When the green man started walking, I waved goodbye to him, and we said we would see each other in the office again on Friday.

I know it was really stupid, but I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I walked the rest of the way home. Dass is back! Maybe I didn’t realize it but I do miss my boss. My nit-picking-micro-controlling-impatient-silly-laugh-introverted-intelligent boss.

But maybe it is because he has yet answered an important question, therefore seeing him makes me feel glad that some sort of an answer was near?

Whatever, I was glad to see him. Happy actually. Happy that he was doing well, that his family seemed well and good.

It is a strange yet wonderful feeling, to see an old friend face to face, in times unexpected.

What a way to start a week! : D

xoxo, G

P.S. strange things happened. The wind was really huge yesterday morning when I went out for yoga class; it sent the dry, yellow leaves flying in the air. A man on a bicycle moving towards me had a shocked expression on his face when a leaf dropped into his front basket which almost made me laugh. He was such a lucky guy! I have tried so hard on so many occasions to catch falling leaves, they say it is good luck, but I never did. And lo’behold, one lone leaf simply floated into his basket! He is going to have a good year, surely!

P.P.S I remembered that something strange happened today as well, but I can’t remember what. I love remembering whimsical stories, I would tell myself to note that and write it down when I get the chance, but most of the time I didn’t. I hope secretly inside I have stashed these stories in a safe corner, and one day they can come to me again, and I shall review them at leisure.

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The Agony of a Patience Wearing Thin

Slippers. It is truly agnosing to wear thing slippers and pad around cold, hard floors, but right now I can easily think of something that is much more agonising.

Waiting.

And not just waiting for anything, but specifically waiting for a

Possibilty.

And not just the possibility of anything, but of the important

Future.

So I try to be Patience in slippers, and I try not to pace around so much on the cold hard floor.

I shall go about meddling with daily duties that cry for my attention, and I shall not cast my thoughts too far away from the present.

I will stay here and trust that I will get what is mine to get in good time. It is never my time but yours to come, not my will but yours be done.

In the meantime, I’ll get a drink.

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saved by a doc

I was saved by a doc today!

The best medicine is genuine advice, and the best doctor is a good friend (:

my dearest anonymous friend who is friendly even with the Llamas arranged for a swim and dinner together just tonight. My Llama friend is a physician in training who was about to begin her work attachment. She is extremely passionate about her would-be profession, and would stick a needle in almost anything. (You know how the art of acupuncture plays a big part in traditional Chinese medicine). She loves exercising her professional judgment on seemingly mundane subject matters as well (food, lifestyle, appearances, fashion) which it is funny most of the time.

But what really got to me happened today over dinner. She finished first, and was lounging in my seat. With nothing better to do she started to observe me closely.

”You look very tired. Your complexion is ashy,’ she remarked critically. ‘Are you very exhausted?’ I said no I wasn’t, and it was really because I didn’t have my make up on. She insisted that it wasn’t just the make up, and proceeded to investigate the matter (I suspect it was part of her training.):

‘Have you been sleeping late?’ (no.) ‘Is it your make up?’ (I wear very little.) ‘Do you use make up remover?’ (I try.) ‘You know you should? It is really difficult to get rid of make up without a proper remover. And they clog your pores when they are not properly removed. There is quite a lot of acne along the side of your face.’ (That’s right.) ‘You know that is due to perspiration. You should wipe those away.’ (I don’t usually have tissue.) ‘You need tissue. Don’t you wipe your mouth after meals?’ (I always borrow them off my colleagues.) ‘You need some on your own to wipe off your perspiration. You don’t dry your hair well after showers.’ (I like to let them dry naturally.) ‘You should keep your hair and face dry and clean. Water traps dust.’ (Oh.) ‘You know it is alright to be messy if you want to, but hygiene is the most important.’ (Oh.)

I was slightly embarrassed but incredibly amused. I was not angry; in fact I was surprised that Llama friend was so candid! Moreover she honestly wanted me to be well; how sweet is that! How often do you have friends who speak so plainly to you, and who is so genuine about her opinions? I mean because they are constructive, it will only serve make me better! Though it was quite uncomfortable feeling like a specimen in the petri dish.

So now I am properly ashamed, and I promised to dry myself properly and wipe my perspiration off my face, carry more tissue around and use a proper makeup remover. But of course as any self-respecting girl I stood my stand on other matters that were important. She had asked before she left:

‘Anyway do you find your skirt a little short for work?’

(Yes I do and no I don’t care.)

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D I S C I P L I N E

I so did not write this article below. All I can say is, if self-discipline is all that powerful, I sincerely hope that only the most generous-hearted and best of people get to master it, and wield it for the greater good.

“The most important success principle of all was stated by Thomas Huxley many years ago.”

“Do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.”

He went on to say, “There are 999 other success principles that I have found in my reading and experience, but without self-discipline, none of them work.”

Self-discipline is the key to personal greatness. It is the magic quality that opens all doors for you, and makes everything else possible. With self-discipline, the average person can rise as far and as fast as his talents and intelligence can take him. But without self-discipline, a person with every blessing of background, education and opportunity will seldom rise above mediocrity.

There are seven areas of your life where the practice of self-discipline will be key to your success. These areas include goals, character, time management, personal health, money, courage and responsibility. It is my hope that you’ll find a few “nuggets” that will help make your dreams come true.

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