Category Archives: philosophy

Most Yummilicious taste in the World: Honey

I have a craving for honey, and its curious how it started with Patty’s casual question over the cubicle (that’s our style at work), “eh what do you usually have for breakfast?”

I love it when people ask me breakfast questions. I just think it is so gorgeously sincere! When you ask me about what I’d like for breakfast, is like asking an intimate question to really get to know me, because breakfast is a sacred time for many.

 

For night owls, breakfast is spent in deep knock-out slumber on the bed; a private escape to dreams.

For morning people like me, breakfast is a world of amazing possibilities: milk? cereal? cookies? dunk them in tea? or hot chocolate? maybe bread? maybe bread with butter? and even honey?

 

Honey. Oh boy. When I die, drench me in honey. It is a sure way to get into heaven…

I can’t adequately describe how this sticky chewy, aromatic substance is in so many ways my best mealtime companion. It IS sacred. Sigh. The love goes on.

 

Anyway, the reason why I am writing is this: I just returned from a holiday to India, and I have so many thoughts and feelings inside me.

1. I can’t believe I spent a good 7 days without spam-checking my iPhone. I did it! I was dropped from 3G for a good week, with no good reception and no way of accessing Facebook and whatsapp on the move and it has only done me good. Like SO MUCH good. Gone were the times of checking incessantly for messages that would not be coming in anyway, or mindlessly flicking the screen looking for nothing. Instead, i set my gaze to the beautiful (and sometimes hectic) surroundings, and try to drown myself in all the colors and sounds.

Did you know India is beautiful? Some things I loved were the way cows and little goats frolicked in the sunny streets with no care, like regular pets. I loved the traditional garbs of the Indian women, I loved the occasional spectacular saris and punjabi outfits gracing the streets. I love the street hawkers, and the big juicy fruits they peddled only for a few rupees.

 

2. I enjoyed being free. During my entire trip, the only object I pursued was pleasure. I was completely at leisure to do what I want to do when I want to do it. I could make a choice to stuff myself with masala, or laze out in the sun and contemplate life. I could read, listen to my music, or write in my diary.  I didn’t check my emails, and I didn’t get in touch with anyone who was not around me. I had to make conversations with my travel buddies, and I do so when i felt like it. In the end, we knew each other so much better than we ever could, and the friendships I’ve made in the easy times are things I will cherish forever.

 

3. My senses were invigorated by immense beauty. I had the chance to visit the Big Temple in Thanjavur, the scale of the temple and its beauty awed me. I was in Kodaikanal, and the mountainous scenes, steep cliffs and rocks were so gorgeous. I find myself in love again.

 

 

The funny thing is that to me, no matter now beautiful are the things I see, man made or natural, they all don’t come close to the beauty of relationships. One of the biggest takeaway I have out of my India trip is the message that: live your life to the utmost every single minute.

I don’t mean you have to now rush like a mad thing trying to accomplish something every second. In fact I mean the opposite. I mean that we can try to be at peace with ourselves, and still our mind to concentrate on the present, because each moment is different, and if you are always living in the future or for the past, you are just wasting your time away.

I mean that we should be deeply conscious of our existence and be grateful for that. I mean that each day we can perhaps come closer to understanding ourselves and drawing our full potential, and enjoy the process of growing and learning. We are not perfect, and the last thing to do is to try to be someone else just to be perfect. But how about being the best of me? I think that’s a worthy pursuit for this life.

And ironically as it sounds, I see that the best way to be perfectly us, is to think about others. We have come a full circle back down to relationships. The act of giving something good and pleasing to someone else, so that both parties can share something beautiful, a kind of grace that is invisible and intangible.

I don’t know, but I truly think that we are born to be in relationships with each other. A single person alone is nothing much, what joy can be derived out of enjoying nature’s beauty by oneself? We are all mirrors for each other, what we do to others define ourselves.

What a heavy lessons for such a light-hearted holiday huh! I don’t know what’s gotten to me. My sore throat must be burning up my head. Time to snuggle (:

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A stick-note charm to remind myself never to not do that

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE YEAR WAITING IN VAIN.

So don’t wait! Get out there and grab a life, an adventure for yourself.

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE YEAR BEING FAT.

So stop being greedy, and seriously quit eating so much!

I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE YEAR BEING SUCH A LAZY CRAP AT WORK.

So work harder and be smarter.

I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ILLITERATE, VULGAR GIRL WHO KNOWS NO JOY IN LIFE.

So read regularly!

I DON’T WANT TO BE FAITHLESS.

So pray often, and offer each day up to him!

I DON’T WANT TO BE JE-JE-JE-JADED.

So do good deeds everyday. Stop being a self-centered bitch!

I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU OUT COLD.

So spend more time with people I love, who loves me so. Get down to writing that letter which you never finished.

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE REGRETS.

Seize the day, live in the present moment.

 

More time with God, books, exercise, good healthy work that enriches my experience and makes me useful.

Less time being stuck in my comfort zone. Being lazy, eating non-stop, and feeling perfectly selfish and insular is not the way to live.

It is time to branch out, catch some sunlight, and grow.

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Things that make you Cry and Laugh at the same time

One thing is life for sure.

I hope your life is funny, sunny, bitter and sweet at the same time. That’s a life worth living.

But other than Life, there are moments littered in our every day that possess the same powerful effect, that could make you laugh and cry at the same time:

A Good Read. A book that speaks to you through its volumes of a past experience, a deep ache within. Or maybe one that offers a window to someone else’s life, a life so helpless and fragile, and yet you could not reach out to help in any way. You laugh because you can imagine its simple sweetness, and you cry for all the unfairness suffered.

A Decade-old Photo. When you see your smooth, oval face and the spotless laugh that knew no troubles; oh how you hate and love at the same time! Love for the moment you had, and hate that it is long over. Pleaseeee get over the bitterness and be grateful that you were enriched by such beautiful experiences! (:

A Cup of Coffee. You could be having it alone, or perhaps as a friendly brew with an old acquaintance; anyhow, caffeine is a great brain stimulant, and at times it could work just as well even for the tear ducts! Say if you were sharing a private joke (even just to yourself) and you burnt your tongue while chuckling quietly.

Very likely.

An Unwilling Lesson Learnt. That was what happened to me today. I was bringing my parents out for a day trip, our usual food-hunt, and I envisioned a relaxing stroll after a delicious meal.

To my own grievous fault (heh), it became a stressful roundabout walk, long hours of getting lost, and a set of tired and grumpy parents, carrying two pairs of feet that were more tired and grumpy than anything ):

It was really my fault. Not only did I walk too fast, I was way too impatient in finding my way around, indecisive about what to do, and too stubborn to take any advice.

You know I thought I changed! I used to be a panicky drowning-duck-in-the-pond type of person, and I really, really thought I shook that off already. I thought that I have learnt to carry myself in a confident, relaxed way. I was so wrong! I am still the worried little girl trying so hard to prove myself. 

After all these years, I am still the same in so many ways. What a downer.

I guess one improvement is that I don’t sulk out loud and pretend nothing’s wrong anymore. I shed a few quiet tears, and as I thought back about the frantic walking we did, I actually managed to laugh out. AT myself.

There you go, crying and laughing at the same time!

How could I be so wrong, thinking that I’m all good and grown now. How you surprise me, oh G.

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You will always be a one hit wonder

Don’t you think that we can be such stubborn creatures always?

Our itchy hearts always, always want something new.

Not that they are bad, but maybe we are disillusioned about their benefits. Sometimes they are not good for us.

Or maybe it is simply not the right time.

“I shall not want.”

It is so much easier said than done, but to call it quits before trying is a coward. Don’t b e like that! Face the music and carry on. Try to be patient and kind, and wait for it to come to you, all in good time (:

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The longer I run

I have grown to like running again! It is a feeling that was long lost to me.

Back in 2010 I used to really run quite a lot. LOL it scares me that the mention of years of the new millennium actually sounds like old news. (WHAT KIND OF AGE ARE WE LIVING IN? An age that ages too fast, me thinks.)

I could do 10 at a whim, and I was hooked to the thrill of breathlessness. I wasn’t crazy fast, but I wasn’t slow, I was damn tired, but I so loved it. I loved the feel of my carbs burning away (I’ll admit as much!) and I loved the scream in my legs, because back then I needed to feel intensely before I could recognise my worth. If it doesn’t hurt I wasn’t doing enough.

And of course it didn’t last long, this act of living life half-alive. Soon I was getting too comfortable with myself all over again, and those memories of “die running” no longer attracted me. In fact it sent shivers down my spine!

But now I am back! And it feels so good to be sane and motivated at the same time. I think I am really, really rickety and old now, but I no longer need to proof a point. Sure I run to lose weight, but also because I want to be healthy and feel alive. I want to live at the tip of my toes! So I run.

I ran and as I did, I shed all troubles of the day, the what ifs and what nots. I ran as fast as I would like, without worrying how much there was to go before I could stop, without thinking if I have arrived.

Right now what mattered most was being present. So just bring one leg forward,

and the other,

and you go!

P.S. This is a random incident that happened after the run. I title it THE TEXTURE OF SIN: I promise I didn’t feel like eating anything at all. But it turns out it was a futile promise :\ if not for the retainers, I would have sunk my front teeth right into the heart of the creamy, yummy brown cube. Chocolates are defenseless against my enamel prison!! And it all came about from just one touch. A tentative finger prodding the smooth, mahogany surface of the chocolate dome. A touch can kill. A touch can move waves of desireeeee…!

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A strange feeling we have met before.

I was standing at the junction listlessly  fiddling my phone when I noticed a strange, broad hand waving in my face. Not thinking anything at all I looked up and saw – Dass! He was back from London!

I know it is very strange, but I couldn’t say how glad I was to see him. Of course I didn’t know that feeling inside me was gladness at first. I said a surprised “hey!” and started removing my ear piece, and rolling them together neatly. I looked at him and asked him where did he come from, while he asked me if I just got off the train at the same time. The best way to start a conversation was by asking mundane questions.

He had small, bleary eyes, and I could tell he needed sleep badly, or is it is old problem coming back again? I felt like his caretaker thinking about such everyday things! He replied that he just got off the bus, and that he was at the learning centre. I asked him when did he arrive in Singapore, he said on the First, and yes he brought his wife and daughter back home as well. I asked about his house in London, and his place in Khatib, if it was empty. A friend stays there now, he said.

The green man flashed, and we started crossing the road. I said he looked thinner, which pleased him and he asked skeptically if it was true. Ok not tremendously thinner like I envisioned when Patty said so, but yes slightly slimmer. (OK but he was actually much slimmer when he first joined, ha!) He said he took a nap on the bus, and was still trying to adjust to local time. I asked if he took a longer nap during the lesson. He said he was at the verge of giving up towards the end of the class, and that others who just came back from the US didn’t fare any better.

We were standing and talking like that for a while at the corner of the crossing, and I waited for his green man with him. When the green man started walking, I waved goodbye to him, and we said we would see each other in the office again on Friday.

I know it was really stupid, but I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I walked the rest of the way home. Dass is back! Maybe I didn’t realize it but I do miss my boss. My nit-picking-micro-controlling-impatient-silly-laugh-introverted-intelligent boss.

But maybe it is because he has yet answered an important question, therefore seeing him makes me feel glad that some sort of an answer was near?

Whatever, I was glad to see him. Happy actually. Happy that he was doing well, that his family seemed well and good.

It is a strange yet wonderful feeling, to see an old friend face to face, in times unexpected.

What a way to start a week! : D

xoxo, G

P.S. strange things happened. The wind was really huge yesterday morning when I went out for yoga class; it sent the dry, yellow leaves flying in the air. A man on a bicycle moving towards me had a shocked expression on his face when a leaf dropped into his front basket which almost made me laugh. He was such a lucky guy! I have tried so hard on so many occasions to catch falling leaves, they say it is good luck, but I never did. And lo’behold, one lone leaf simply floated into his basket! He is going to have a good year, surely!

P.P.S I remembered that something strange happened today as well, but I can’t remember what. I love remembering whimsical stories, I would tell myself to note that and write it down when I get the chance, but most of the time I didn’t. I hope secretly inside I have stashed these stories in a safe corner, and one day they can come to me again, and I shall review them at leisure.

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A shining light

Happie Neu Ear and belated merry Christmas!!

Live a little, love more, and have lots of blessings.
I wish that you are a light for others, and for yourself,

xoxo,
G

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Delectable quotes from Oscar Wilde

I am completely thrilled by my discovery of the delightfulness of oscar wilde quotes!

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.”

“Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.”

“Anyone can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.”

“A poet can survive anything but a misprint.”

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

And truly,

“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”

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The Agony of a Patience Wearing Thin

Slippers. It is truly agnosing to wear thing slippers and pad around cold, hard floors, but right now I can easily think of something that is much more agonising.

Waiting.

And not just waiting for anything, but specifically waiting for a

Possibilty.

And not just the possibility of anything, but of the important

Future.

So I try to be Patience in slippers, and I try not to pace around so much on the cold hard floor.

I shall go about meddling with daily duties that cry for my attention, and I shall not cast my thoughts too far away from the present.

I will stay here and trust that I will get what is mine to get in good time. It is never my time but yours to come, not my will but yours be done.

In the meantime, I’ll get a drink.

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Consider your future

Where should I put my head for the next part of my life? It is time to move on from the dingy office-admin-gov-reporting-stuffy atmosphere to something more free-roaming and challenging! I should not hesitate to crawl out of my little shell from here! *crawls slowly….*

*Leaves the shell…*

“creep to the mouth of the cave..*

the process of getting out of plato’s cave is an excrutiating one, becuase everyone around you will scorn “Why are you moving? Isn’t it a beautiful place? Isn’t it comfortable? Why suffer out there?” They will think that you are crazy and say discouraging stuff to make you gradually believe you are stupid too.

Then just at the moment when the tippy tips of our fingers were about to lift off from our old shell and depart and never come back, we cling on tighter, go back in and retreat. Deeper into the recesses than ever before. “Pull back!” our head screams. Our heart wrings in agony but the head doesn’t hear 😦

 

oh no!! Please do not let that happen to me. If Daryl can go off to New Zealand to pick cherries, so can I change my job. Compared to uprooting myself to down under to indulge in agricultural bliss, I think changing a job is a safe, sane and valid move on my part. (Though secretly inside I would love to pick cherries too.. I am so inspired by the travel shows on TV and I think I might just buy them off the rack if the series is available!)

 

Oh my goodness. I need a cheer to boost my ego and lighten my feet. I feel stuck, like my oversized boots are sinking into the murky mud. What a troublesome road life is!

 

I take that back. Love living, keep calm and have a gin fizz.

Always helps, especially when this one below is simply gorgeous:

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